my autobiography and short story

I write stories when i'm bored. Heres just one of them for my first post on my blog:

Jenny’s Autobiography

Once upon a time, there lived a sausage named Jenny, she lived happily ever after.

The Separate Story – by Jenny V

In Little Land, where things little seemed big and bigger things seemed bigger, lived a group of friends, who had never gone past a day without an adventure. Little did they know their little land was more than a magical land; it was more of a two bedroom apartment in New York City. But because of their feeble minds, Little Land was Little Land.

Jenny, a little sausage, lived in the kitchen cupboard where she met her first friend, an eggplant named Christina. Eggplant had one day wondered to the cupboard from her cosy habitat in the vegetable basket to find her necklace, where she found sausage that had helped her find it. Eggplant and sausage also had a friend who was a pastry tart, named Alounh from the suburb of “Refridgeratoria” which is quite a wealthy area with a low crime rate. Some call her “Tart” for short. Tart met Jenny and Christina through an internet dating service. Stephanie, the creator of the internet dating site was the last friend of the awesome foursome.

She was a newspaper, dated back to April 25^th 1994 of the New York Time. News paper lived in the storeroom in a box labelled “Stuff”. Apparently these four characters were quite old, some out of date, and some should have been thrown out some time ago.

One day, there was a terrible earthquake and all residents from the Kitchen state were forced to flee towards the Living Room state, formerly known for its poor facilities and ghettos. Out of fear for their own wellbeing, the four friends had to pack and leave for the next state, because they did NOT want to take any chances.

“Jumpy Jupiter’s Juno!” cried Christina. “We have to go back!”

“No, it’s too risky! We have no idea what the hell that was, and the last thing we need is one of us loosing a slice” replied Jenny calmly.

“But I miss my home, and my things…and my IPOD!!!! JENNY! How could you!?” said Tart. But of course Tart was ignored as she usually talked about nonsense.

“Well flipperty flagging flickery dickorys! I’m going to find out what that was! Come on guys, we can find out what that was, and maybe we can fight it or fix it” said Christina again.

News paper who had been quiet for a while finally spoke. “I think we should listen to Jenny, she may be right, besides this is something the law enforcement officers should deal with.”

That night, no one talked to each other. Eggplant Christina and Sausage Jenny eyed each other wearingly, but Jenny, of course fell into a deep sleep first. With that Eggplant crept from the site and left her three friends. Eggplant went across the border and into the kitchen. By daybreak, the three friends called tiresomely for Eggplant to turn up, till they finally came to the conclusion that Christina had went into the Kitchen.

“What bad luck! She would not survive in the Kitchen alone!” cried Newspaper.

Jenny then pointed out “Wait! How do you know she would be in some kind of trouble? It could be the wind for all we know!”

“OR A MONSTER, JENNY!” cried Alounh the Tart. But this time, a mention of a monster causing an earthquake was quite possible, as it would have been something large enough to cause vibrations and utter ear piecing sounds. Of course in this particular group of friends, they all love each other very much. Leaving one friend alone to suffer or die would be unearthly. Hence, the reason why all of the three friends felt as if they had a duty in retrieving Christina back to safety.

The next day when they set out to find Christina, Alounh the Tart, sausage and Stephanie were scared out of their pastry/skin/paper. They found Eggplant in the corner of Kitty Litter land speaking frantically and not making any sense. But of course if you have some one who makes no sense when they talk, the only way to make sense of what they say is to get someone else who speaks of no sense to talk to the person making no sense. If that logic makes sense itself, then the laws follow: The Tart must talk to the Eggplant. Of course when the Tart did talk to the Eggplant and translated to even less nonsensed nonsene, the Sausage and Newspaper had no idea what the Tart was talking about either.

Leaving it at that Stephanie and Jenny left Eggplant and Alounh to their unusual ramblings to go out on the window’s flower box to sunbathe. Sausage was then flung into the air by some catastrophic force and landed on the soft lawn next to the mailbox 21 floors down.

“JENNY!!” Newspaper called in surprise. “Jenny! Are you alright?!”

“I’m OK!!!!” called Jenny in response. “I am a sausage after all!”

At that very moment, a goat came across and devoured sausage up and she somehow ended up in Jamaica seconds later forming a tribute band for “The Beatles”. Newspaper cried in agony and disturbed the local pigeons that picked her up and threw her into outer space where she travelled at the speed of light delivering news to Martians miles away. Eggplant opened up a bar called “Purple” where she served the most alcoholic drinks that made people speak her kind of nonsense. Last but not least the Tart, found new love with the scruffy cat living in the apartment, but sadly Tart was thrown out for growing too much mould.

AND

“That’s the truthful ruthful likeningly bikeningly crazy ending”